“LORD, deliver me from lying lips and a dishonest tongue!” (Psalm 120:2, CEB).
It wasn’t my finest hour. Half-time of the Ohio State-Michigan game had mercifully arrived. My team was losing, badly. I had lost all hope for a win. I needed a pick-me-up.
So, I drove down to the local dealership and bought a new car. Did I mention that my wife was not with me? Our standing agreement is that we make all large purchase decisions together. On this occasion I made an exception.
Cathy wasn’t happy. I pleaded insanity. We spent a very quiet, evening together. Some might describe it as a silent night.
Some people think it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to get permission. This popular phrase has become a recurring problem in our world today. Besides, the original meaning of this maxim intended that one do the appropriate thing even if you don’t have any backing.
Not seeking permission is a willful and premeditated act. When you do something without checking in, you are creating distrust. In fact, you have decided that what you want is more important than the person whose consent you should have pursued. Likewise, any apology you may offer later will ring hollow, as you really aren’t sorry for what you did.
Trust is the glue that binds relationships. Without trust, it becomes a near impossibility for any relationship to last. It’s only a matter of time that the tie that binds will break.
My counsel is that you carefully weigh the consequences the next time you are tempted to
place forgiveness ahead of permission. Take it from one who has learned this lesson the hard way.
Seeking consent could save you from a long evening of suffering in silence.