“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27, NIV).
However, Sheila’s parents grew increasingly concerned for her welfare. She began eating fewer meals and complained frequently of stomach pain. She often dealt with debilitating headaches and had difficulty sleeping. Her doctor conducted many tests but did not find a medical explanation for her symptoms.
Sheila’s mother asked that I meet with her daughter to determine if there were underlying emotional issues that were creating Sheila’s problems. I asked Sheila what a typical day looked like for her. I quickly discovered that Sheila had little time for herself amidst athletic practices, road trips to tournaments, voice lessons, and homework. In short, Sheila was stressed beyond her capacity to cope.
Sheila wanted to cut something out of her hectic schedule, but she was afraid of letting her coaches, friends, and family down. Sheila also was anxious that she wouldn’t measure up to their expectations. Ultimately, Sheila’s physical problems had become an outward manifestation of an inward turmoil raging within her soul.
Sheila’s story is not unique. Twenty-five percent of America’s teenagers experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. The root causes are many and varied. Yet stress is a prominent factor in many mental health diagnoses.
Today’s kids are experiencing increasing amounts of pressure. Academics are more demanding. Athletics are highly competitive. The chances of success or failure are greater than ever.
What’s a parent to do? Well, every person is different. One child may thrive by engaging in four activities a week, while another feels overwhelmed with just one. As parents, it is our job to listen to and watch for indications of excessive stress. Likewise, we must be willing to intervene when our children are afraid to give up an activity because they don’t want to disappoint someone they respect or like.
In addition, we must create a climate of peace within the home. This means limiting the amount of time our children watch television, play video games, or surf the web. Studies have shown that electronic media does little to lower the level of stress, and in many instances can exacerbate anxiety.
So, turn off the screens. Go for a family bike ride. Play a game of Monopoly. Help your children find healthy ways of ratcheting down their angst.
Most importantly, share with your child the gift of peace that Jesus promises his followers. Read with them the stories of Jesus found in the gospels. Memorize with them passages of Scripture that inspire such as, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Sing praise songs in the car as you travel together.
So, here’s what I know. Stress is a normal part of life. Stress helps us grow. But when the stress reaches critical levels, it can become toxic.
But for those of us who strive to live our lives in the presence of Jesus, his peace becomes ours. Jesus may not always calm the storms around us. But rest assured, he will quiet the storms within us when given the chance for our children, our families, and for all the world.