“The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings” (Proverbs 18:21, ERV).

            A disturbing trend has been observed near the Valdes Peninsula in Argentina. During the early months of the year, right whales leave the frigid waters of the Southern Ocean to mate and raise their calves in the warmer temperatures of South America. Marine biologist, Maria Piotto, has observed sea gulls attacking young southern right whales. The gulls persistently swoop down and peck at the calf’s flesh as the baby whale breaches the surface for air.

            The gull attacks create wounds that can become infected and reduce time for nursing and resting for both calves and mothers. From calf necropsies, researchers found indicators of chronic stress, immune dysfunction, and adrenal failure. Sadly, these precious creatures are literally dying as a result of a thousand cuts.

Similar emotional effects can be witnessed in our interpersonal relationships. It is not unusual for individuals to make hurtful comments toward others from time to time. Most of us can sustain these minor psychological injuries without doing great damage to our relationship.

Yet when persons repeatedly feel unheard, neglected, unjustly criticized, or unsupported, the accumulation of these small cuts to the human heart can fatally affect the connection we have with one another. The Proverb cited above is but one of many in the Scriptures that repeatedly warn us of the powerful effect words can have on the people around us.

It doesn’t always take something monumental to jeopardize a relationship. However, many long-term associations have died by numerous small things, minor injuries, like tiny pecks to the flesh, over time. What may not seem like a big deal to you is oftentimes the crux of the conflict. Or perhaps you don’t see what you’re doing as a problem. However, taking seriously the other person’s concerns and taking action to make it right, will go far in rebuilding stock in the relationship.

            For those of you who find yourself on the receiving end of such small slights, speak up when ongoing problems arise. Voice your concerns clearly and calmly. If you feel unheard or dismissed, circle back and speak up again. Press for what is important to you. Find a mutually agreeable way to solve your problem, even if you must seek outside assistance from a professional counselor.

 A thousand cuts in a relationship, as in life, eventually leads to relationship death. Don’t ignore the cuts. Find ways to heal them before they cause you a whole peck of trouble.